Utilising "Unknown" Strengths
Can everything be used for “good” or “bad”?
Can anything be utilised for a “positive” or “negative” outcome?
Let’s take something as simple as water for example. Water is essential for everyone and all things living. We as humans need it to function and should ideally drink 1.5 - 2 litres every day.
Though whilst essential, we also know that overconsumption can lead to water intoxication.
Like water though, our personality traits can be used in a way that’s either good or bad. They can create benefits for ourselves and others as well as set up drawbacks.
We all have personal characteristics in which we operate from. While they can be changed by our actions and reactions, each of us tends to have ways of being that’s innate and shapes who we are.
Me for example, there’s two traits in particular that I believe to be strongest in my personality:
Curiosity
Stubbornness (I think others will tell you this one before anything else!)
Let’s use “stubbornness” as the example though.
Prior to my injury, the gym was a big part of my life. Driven by insecurities and comparisons, I wanted to be the biggest guy around.
Training and eating to the point of throwing up, it wasn’t a pretty picture.
Though it was through keeping stubborn and an image/goal in mind that I wanted to achieve that drove me.
Despite many people who loved me telling me to stop or at least settle it down a little; I kept going further and further. Pushing more and more every day.
Gaining 30kgs in 8 months and dropping 20kg in 4 all for one photo and I achieved my goal a week prior to my injury.
Reflecting on all that though, because I was driven from my insecurities and comparisons, things didn’t result as a positive.
Though, it is that same trait I had of stubbornness that I can utilise now in other aspects of my life.
Whether it be my career, dreams, education, skills, goals, etc.
Being stubborn will help my in my efforts towards those things.
Take basketball as the example. End of 2021, I bought a basketball and began shooting hoops at my local half-court for an hour or two everyday - I loved it.
I watched games of wheelchair basketball and thought it looked crazy fun, I wanted to see if I could play!
Being the end of the Sydney lockdown, most places hadn’t opened up skills training sessions though locally there was a session starting up in December - I was excited!
I arrived feeling eager to learn more and practice my skills. The coaches didn’t quite understand how to navigate the wheelchairs and the other 5 attendees were children under 12 - I was 22.
Nevertheless, I kept going to those sessions and began coaching basketball to able-bodied children to upskill my knowledge and basketball skills.
Consistently doing this for 3 months, as well as training in my own space at the local half-court, I found out state trials were on for a junior under 23 competition - The Kevin Coombes Cup.
I arrived on the first day and gave it my all. Asked each of the coaches before we left the first tryouts what I could improve on and they all gave me their piece of advice.
I went home that evening and watched Paralympic games for hours, doing my best to understand what they were doing on-court and what I could do also.
Arrived the second day and apparently had a noticeable difference.
There was even a third trial a month later, and with all the work I had done, I thankfully made the team and represented NSW in early 2022.
Not long after, I was consistently training with a national team in Wollongong that accepted me as one of their players for the 2022 season.
For my rookie season, I got 1:30 on court and made one bucket as a “low-pointer”.
I don’t think any of that would’ve been possible though if I wasn’t stubborn.
I took a trait that worked for me previously towards my insecurities, utilised it in a more meaningful way by using it towards my goals and dreams and created a great outcome.
Being stubborn can be used in negative ways though definitely can be used for a lot of positives.
Moving forward you’ll see me continue to use my stubbornness in basketball and many other dreams, goals and ambitions that I have. This is only just the beginning.
This is just one trait though, there are many others we could speak about and setup examples for though my question to you is the following:
How do you conduct yourself? And how can you best use that?
Just as we can enjoy waves at the beach to surf and ride, a tsunami is dangerous and can destroy lives - So choose which wave you surf carefully!
Getting Paid $8.33/hour & Walking Away a Millionaire
How significant can a small amount of money be when you’re growing up?
When I was younger, my mother introduced me to pop, rap and house music and I quickly fell in love with it.
Buying the latest “So Fresh” CD’s and various other albums, we used to play them from our CD player and enjoy the music together.
Anytime we’d be in the car, always turning the radio up and singing along to our favourite songs was how we used to connect.
When I started diving into house music a little more, I became obsessed with DJs. I loved how they would mix tracks seamlessly as if they were telling a story through the tracks they were playing. I saw videos of crowds going crazy to them and I wanted to become one.
In Year 6, downloading Virtual DJ and playing around with that software became a regular hobby until in Year 7, I worked with my dad for 5 days to pay off a Mixvibes U-Mix Control 2.
My first MIDI DJ Controller would be my favourite thing to play with in all of my spare time. Pretending I was on stage playing to thousands of people excited me and brought joy every time.
I used to make mixes, record them and upload them to youtube and soundcloud - I loved the creative process it brought.
At the end of Year 8, I was asked to DJ my first house party - A friend’s sister’s 16th
Given this were the Year 10’s - I made sure I over prepared my playlist for the night and practiced for hours leading up to it.
Practicing ended up wearing my headphones out and 2 nights before the gig - I snapped my Beats Mixr’s.
Quickly I bought a replacement with money I had left over from working with Dad and I was ready for the Saturday night.
Arriving that night was nerve-wracking though everyone shook my hand, made me feel welcome as if I was one of them - that quickly calmed the nerves and I was playing and having fun the entire time.
After dinner was a highlight that night - everyone filled the dancefloor and danced. They made big circles, danced in small groups and enjoyed themselves. That was a good feeling.
After 6 hours of playing, I start to wrap up and I turned the music off at midnight.
As I packed away my gear, my friend comes to me with $50 and thanks me for playing.
It’s funny, I played that night with no expectation of getting paid - It was fun for me and that’s all I saw it as.
Receiving the $50 that night showed me a lot:
I could get paid doing something I love
“Work” doesn’t have to be tiring
Creating a great environment was something of value
My mum picked me up and I had more energy than I had ever felt. I did something I loved, others loved it and I was appreciated for it.
I only had $50 for 6 hours “work” but I left that party a millionaire.
I’ve now taken those lessons and I’ve ran with them.
I now live every day doing something that invites a great environment for others whilst doing what excites me.
Thankfully I was paid $8.33/hour to learn that I can live from a place of excitement and passion whilst contributing to others - Something I’ve dedicated my life to.
A Bigger Reason to Push
What if the one thing “keeping you stuck” gave you a greater reason to keep on pushing?
As I journeyed into wheelchair basketball, I quickly developed a deep love for the sport. Training multiple times a week, travelling a lot to do so and making sure that when I arrive at training, I always bring my all.
I thankfully started coaching kids basketball too - both able-bodied and also young wheelchair players as well.
Wheelchair basketball was and still is a significant passion of mine.
Being so passionate about it, I wanted to share the experience with others as well so I decided to start hosting Wheelchair Basketball “Roadshows” to different schools and communities.
Personally, having a background in working with high school students, I felt like I would gravitate towards them a little more than primary school kids.
Though in the Term 3 holidays of 2022, I hosted a primary school OOSH roadshow that opened my eyes.
That day I was at 2 different primary schools in Sydney’s East.
The first school had quite a lot of students and we ended up dividing them into 9 different teams.
It was great though some teams had some troubles when they got into their chairs. Sometimes only 3 or 4 chairs would be filled in their team of 5 - Someone has clearly not wanted to join in.
I always went over and approached those that didn’t want to play and would offer the opportunity to sit in the chairs and play with their team for 30 seconds. And if they didn’t like it, they could walk away.
The few times I had to do that in the first session, those students were begging to play again and again, it was great.
Then come the second session and this time we had 6 different teams.
The first two games were great and the kids were loving it.
Come the third game where the last 2 teams were playing against each other, I instructed everyone to switch over for the final team before everyone got to play again.
As everyone ran to and sat in their wheelchairs, I was approached from behind by a student and one of the OOSH supporters.
The supporter says, “Matt do you think Eli is going to be able to play?”
The kid, disheartened, looks down and shares, “I broke my right arm last week.”
I felt bad for Eli and didn’t want him to let it get to him. I intuitively responded saying, “Of course, let’s get you into one of the chairs, we’ll make it work!”
Eli then became excited to hear that he could have the opportunity to play with everyone.
I didn’t want to keep everyone waiting so I got the game started. Though Eli quickly found himself in trouble, he was going in circles.
I went over to him and he said, “Matt I’m right handed, it’s hard to push with my left hand only.”
Fair enough, I could imagine it’d be hard with either hand so I asked if it was okay to push him around a little and he wanted me to do so.
At first, I pushed him around quite a bit that first game and he was loving it. His team gave him a shot also by passing him the ball and I made sure he still bounced the ball every now and then.
I didn’t push the entire game but I did for quite a lot of the first one.
Then came the second game Eli was in and I pushed him around still, only this time I intentionally pushed him less to see how he would react in his own space.
By himself, he did his absolute best to manoeuvre his chair with his left hand only.
Then by Eli’s third game, I would push him even less and by that stage, he loved playing in the chair and figured out a way to use his hips as well as a push, slight pull method to go up and down the court!
Eli had to work 10x harder than anyone else to push his chair though he did his absolute best to get himself playing.
His team would pass him the ball and he got good at getting in people’s way!
Eli’s broken arm gave him an even bigger reason to give his all in that wheelchair because at that moment, what seemed to be “holding him back”, was actually his excuse to push even harder.
It was no coincidence that Eli walked away from that roadshow with the biggest smile of the group.
He walked away stronger that afternoon.